Post by Paradox on May 22, 2004 12:58:26 GMT -5
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Britain
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has
accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will
be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should
go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze
unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis
mad you smil, pleas
pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!
agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Britain
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has
accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will
make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will
be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should
go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze
unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a
reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis
mad you smil, pleas
pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze world!!!
calm down
like a civil war between California and Minnesota would ever happen...