Post by Shipmate Taffer on Nov 9, 2004 14:07:11 GMT -5
I rang for an indian takeaway last night. I said, 'Do you deliver?', he said 'No, just chicken or fish'.
Peter Kay
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? Wi' jammin'
Peter Kay
I'm not homophobic - I'm not afraid of my house.
Peter Kay
How did the US government know Iraq had these incredible weapons? 'Er.. we checked the reciept'
Bill Hicks
If you're called James you can call yourself Jim, Jimmmy or at a stretch, Jimbo. Never, never Jamie. Next thing you know you'll be frying eggs in olive oil.
Al Murray
The French eat frogs' legs, snails and horses. No wonder the asylum seekers don't want to stop there.
Al Murray
Michael Jackson's ill. Nappy rash.
Roy 'Chubby' Brown.
People say dogs aren't clever - when did you see one tread in human s**t?
Billy Connolly
A policeman pulled me over and said , 'Would you please blow into this bag, sir?' I said, 'What for, officer?'. He says, 'My chips are too hot'
Tommy Cooper
I said to the taxi driver, 'King Arthur's Close'. He said, 'Don't worry, we'll lose him at the next set of lights'
Tommy Cooper
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
Harry Hill
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
Steve Martin
Peter Kay
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? Wi' jammin'
Peter Kay
I'm not homophobic - I'm not afraid of my house.
Peter Kay
How did the US government know Iraq had these incredible weapons? 'Er.. we checked the reciept'
Bill Hicks
If you're called James you can call yourself Jim, Jimmmy or at a stretch, Jimbo. Never, never Jamie. Next thing you know you'll be frying eggs in olive oil.
Al Murray
The French eat frogs' legs, snails and horses. No wonder the asylum seekers don't want to stop there.
Al Murray
Michael Jackson's ill. Nappy rash.
Roy 'Chubby' Brown.
People say dogs aren't clever - when did you see one tread in human s**t?
Billy Connolly
A policeman pulled me over and said , 'Would you please blow into this bag, sir?' I said, 'What for, officer?'. He says, 'My chips are too hot'
Tommy Cooper
I said to the taxi driver, 'King Arthur's Close'. He said, 'Don't worry, we'll lose him at the next set of lights'
Tommy Cooper
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
Harry Hill
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.
Steve Martin